Thursday, February 20, 2014

Time For A Wedding

45


Barely a month after I got back to New England, I found we had to scramble to get ready for a wedding. After living together for many years, my eldest brother and his long time girl friend had decided to tie the knot. And this was when I found out that his girl friend, 'Lucy', was from a more well to do family. I heard there had been some horror on the part of her father that his daughter was settling down with a 'ski bum', though by that time my brother was starting to work his way up into the leadership of a competing ski area. A compromise was struck where we would have to participate in a seemingly Kennedyesque wedding that had originally been envisioned for his daughter, in return he would give his blessing.
There was a panicked need to get me to a formal clothing store so when I was introduced to the father of the bride, it wouldn't be in my jeans and tee. The last thing I needed was more confining layers of clothing to make me hotter, but my protests were for nothing. Looking over the suits to be had in my size, they all looked pretty much the same, except for one. Growing up I had alternated between jeans and corduroy pants as a kid, and one of the suits available was a three piece beige corduroy suit, with vest. I figured the material was thick enough that I could wear it without the need of the ACE bandage and at least cool myself down a little bit. We were now ready for the great migration.
My not as older brother flew back from Colorado to participate and we car pooled our way to the Massachusetts coastline to prepare. Once established at the inn, a few steps above any motel I'd ever been to, we were whisked off to the suit rental shop for our fittings. Not quite a tuxedo as I had seen on television, it was more of a black tailcoat with shiny lapels and a grey vest with a black and grey striped tie secured with a pearl topped stick pin. Along with all the associated cufflinks for the shirt, there was also a black cummerbund but this never showed so I was sure its true purpose was to assure heat stoke. This would be the uniform for me, my not as older brother, and my eldest brother's friends as we would act as the ushers during the ceremony. I believe my eldest brother and father were similarly attired, but there might have been some variation as they were the groom and father of the groom. While my paternal grandfather Pappy also attended, I don't remember if he was similarly dressed up as we had been, or if given his Boston Banker background he already had appropriate clothing for such an upscale occasion.
Back to the hotel briefly to change into our less formal formal duds we were off to Lucy's parents' house to meet them and then we'd have dinner after the rehearsal. Arriving along with other guests, we were met at the door and introduced, then we stood aside in the foyer as more guests arrived and Lucy's father introduced us to them. As in Colorado, where people who didn't know me took me as they saw me, he got my name right but introduced as one of the bridesmaids, despite my beige corduroy suit. Perhaps he thought I was wearing it in support of the Equal Rights Amendment of the time? After my many experiences in Colorado that previous Summer, I had learned the best way to handle these moments was with a little humor so I raised my index finger and put on my best perplexed face and said, ''Ah, excuse me?'' Everyone burst out in laughter and the moment passed without recriminations or further awkwardness.
As more guests came, Lucy lead us through the large family home, rich with carved wood detailings, and told us a few anecdotes from her childhood. One that I remember was that, inspired by the communion ritual at their church, she and her sister one time got home to pull out some dinner rolls and squish them flat to make their own communion wafers for play. She also showed us the dining room and pointed out the smaller, lower down table in the corner and talked about her times at the children's dinner table and how she was thrilled when she was old enough to gain a chair at the adult table. This story was a gentle way of introducing me to where I would be seated. This out of the limelight placement suited me just fine though, but at age fifteen the small chairs themselves didn't. Once assembled, we went to a rented space for the wedding rehearsal, before returning for the dinner. When done, there was a little meet-and-greet amongst us as we trickled out over time to our various hotels and motels.
The wedding itself was at a church that we were told members of the Kennedy family had been to on occasion, classic medieval stone masonry with great oak pews. As ushers, we were directed to lead arriving guests to sit evenly on either side of the church for fear that the groom's side might otherwise be a little spare, but surprisingly there was a good turn-out for both sides of the family and the church filled up quite nicely. Despite the emotional distance between my father and my eldest brother, he had asked our father to be his best man. Our father had spent many years living on his own at the family home given that Pappy had his own apartment to spend most of his time in, so the role of best man was offered to him to give dad a participating place at the wedding, rather than being lost in the pews. The music started, my father and eldest brother waited at the alter with another groomsman, and Lucy came in: She made an elegant bride. Accompanied by flower girls dropping pedals along the way, Lucy processed down the the center nave aisle to reach the altar and join her three bridesmaids, her sister and two friends. Having been to a handful of other weddings with my mother over the years, this one seemed straight out of a movie as the vows were taken and the permission to kiss the bride given.
The wedding done, we were off to the family's Yacht Club for the reception. A huge oceanside stone building with a full flight of steps leading up to the entryway, it was decked out with the first room for the gift collection and to have the cake on display. A large adjoining side room was used for the hors d'oeuvres and dinner tables. While the main room did have a set of stairs leading to the upper floor, the reception was only on the main floor and included a smaller side room next to the entry. While not officially part of the event rooms, its glass doors were unlocked and served as a quiet place to decompress from the formality of the affair. Some of my brother's friends from rural New England had a little fun showing each other the 'proper way' of handling the food and addressing each other in the Yacht Club. I milled about the various rooms soaking up the atmosphere and observed the gathered people visiting each other and watching the married couple as the dinner commenced. I noticed that the flower girls had settled into the side room and joined them for a chat. They had been with me at the children's table during the rehearsal dinner, so this gave us a bit of familiarity and we chatted for a bit. Well, given my stuttering, I mostly listened.
We were summoned for the cutting of the cake and I got to have a slice. Afterwards, I noticed my not as older brother and one of the groomsmen friends sneaking outside. I followed. Along with another friend of my brothers, we went to a local pharmacy were they got 'various supplies' to help adorn the chauffeured car for the married couple. Returning to the club, we quietly made our way to the car, then they used shaving cream to add detailing and condoms to whatever external car fitting would hold them. We returned to the reception and stayed until it was time for the tossing of the bouquet; the women assembled at the foot of the flight of stairs leading into the Yacht Club and the bouquet tossed. Then it was time for the men to assemble at the base of the stairs for the tossing of the garter. While told to go down with them, I took to standing far back and to the side so I'd be well out of reach of anything tossed.
Once the married couple were off in their car, we made our way to our own cars and returned to the hotel. There, we could finally get out of our tuxedos and back into our regular clothing. We stayed the night, then car pooled back to our family home the next day.
And normality was restored.




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