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Barely a month after I got back to New England, I found we had to
scramble to get ready for a wedding. After living together for many
years, my eldest brother and his long time girl friend had decided to
tie the knot. And this was when I found out that his girl friend,
'Lucy', was from a more well to do family. I heard there
had been some horror on the part of her father that his daughter was
settling down with a 'ski bum', though by that time my brother was
starting to work his way up into the leadership of a competing ski
area. A compromise was struck where we would have to participate in
a seemingly Kennedyesque wedding that had originally been envisioned
for his daughter, in return he would give his blessing.
There was a panicked need to get me to a formal clothing store so
when I was introduced to the father of the bride, it wouldn't be in
my jeans and tee. The last thing I needed was more confining layers
of clothing to make me hotter, but my protests were for nothing.
Looking over the suits to be had in my size, they all looked pretty
much the same, except for one. Growing up I had alternated between
jeans and corduroy pants as a kid, and one of the suits available was
a three piece beige corduroy suit, with vest. I
figured the material was thick enough that I could wear it without
the need of the ACE bandage and at least cool myself down a little
bit. We were now ready for the great migration.
My not as older brother flew back from Colorado to participate and we
car pooled our way to the Massachusetts coastline to prepare. Once
established at the inn, a few steps above any motel I'd ever been to,
we were whisked off to the suit rental shop for our fittings. Not
quite a tuxedo as I had seen on television, it was more of a black
tailcoat with shiny lapels and a grey vest with a black and grey
striped tie secured with a pearl topped stick pin. Along with all
the associated cufflinks for the shirt, there was also a black
cummerbund but this never showed so I was sure its true purpose was
to assure heat stoke. This would be the uniform for me, my not as
older brother, and my eldest brother's friends as we would act as the
ushers during the ceremony. I believe my eldest brother and father
were similarly attired, but there might have been some variation as
they were the groom and father of the groom. While my paternal
grandfather Pappy also attended, I don't remember if he was similarly
dressed up as we had been, or if given his Boston Banker background
he already had appropriate clothing for such an upscale occasion.
Back to the hotel briefly to change into our less formal formal
duds we were off to Lucy's parents' house to meet them and then
we'd have dinner after the rehearsal. Arriving along with other
guests, we were met at the door and introduced, then we stood aside
in the foyer as more guests arrived and Lucy's father introduced us
to them. As in Colorado, where people who didn't know me took me
as they saw me, he got my name right but introduced as one of
the bridesmaids, despite my beige corduroy suit. Perhaps he
thought I was wearing it in support of the Equal Rights Amendment of
the time? After my many experiences in Colorado that previous
Summer, I had learned the best way to handle these moments was with a
little humor so I raised my index finger and put on my best perplexed
face and said, ''Ah, excuse me?'' Everyone burst out
in laughter and the moment passed without recriminations or further
awkwardness.
As more guests came, Lucy lead us through the large family home, rich
with carved wood detailings, and told us a few anecdotes from her
childhood. One that I remember was that, inspired by the communion
ritual at their church, she and her sister one time got home to pull
out some dinner rolls and squish them flat to make their own
communion wafers for play. She also showed us the dining room and
pointed out the smaller, lower down table in the corner and talked
about her times at the children's dinner table and how she was
thrilled when she was old enough to gain a chair at the adult table.
This story was a gentle way of introducing me to where I would be
seated. This out of the limelight placement suited me just fine
though, but at age fifteen the small chairs themselves didn't. Once
assembled, we went to a rented space for the wedding rehearsal,
before returning for the dinner. When done, there was a little
meet-and-greet amongst us as we trickled out over time to our various
hotels and motels.
The wedding itself was at a church that we were told members of the
Kennedy family had been to on occasion, classic medieval stone
masonry with great oak pews. As ushers, we were directed to lead
arriving guests to sit evenly on either side of the church for fear
that the groom's side might otherwise be a little spare, but
surprisingly there was a good turn-out for both sides of the family
and the church filled up quite nicely. Despite the emotional
distance between my father and my eldest brother, he had asked our
father to be his best man. Our father had spent many years living on
his own at the family home given that Pappy had his own apartment to
spend most of his time in, so the role of best man was offered to him
to give dad a participating place at the wedding, rather than being
lost in the pews. The music started, my father and eldest brother
waited at the alter with another groomsman, and Lucy came in: She
made an elegant bride. Accompanied by flower girls dropping
pedals along the way, Lucy processed down the the center nave aisle
to reach the altar and join her three bridesmaids, her sister and two
friends. Having been to a handful of other weddings with my mother
over the years, this one seemed straight out of a movie as the vows
were taken and the permission to kiss the bride given.
The wedding done, we were off to the family's Yacht Club for the
reception. A huge oceanside stone building with a full flight of
steps leading up to the entryway, it was decked out with the first
room for the gift collection and to have the cake on display. A
large adjoining side room was used for the hors d'oeuvres and dinner
tables. While the main room did have a set of stairs leading to the
upper floor, the reception was only on the main floor and included a
smaller side room next to the entry. While not officially part of
the event rooms, its glass doors were unlocked and served as a quiet
place to decompress from the formality of the affair. Some of my
brother's friends from rural New England had a little fun showing
each other the 'proper way' of handling the food and addressing each
other in the Yacht Club. I milled about the various rooms soaking up
the atmosphere and observed the gathered people visiting each other
and watching the married couple as the dinner commenced. I noticed
that the flower girls had settled into the side room and joined them
for a chat. They had been with me at the children's table during the
rehearsal dinner, so this gave us a bit of familiarity and we chatted
for a bit. Well, given my stuttering, I
mostly listened.
We were summoned for the cutting of the cake and I got to have a
slice. Afterwards, I noticed my not as older brother and one of the
groomsmen friends sneaking outside. I followed. Along with another
friend of my brothers, we went to a local pharmacy were they got
'various supplies' to help adorn the chauffeured car for the married
couple. Returning to the club, we quietly made our way to the car,
then they used shaving cream to add detailing and condoms to whatever
external car fitting would hold them. We returned to the reception
and stayed until it was time for the tossing of the bouquet; the
women assembled at the foot of the flight of stairs leading into the
Yacht Club and the bouquet tossed. Then it was time for the men to
assemble at the base of the stairs for the tossing of the garter.
While told to go down with them, I took to standing far back and to
the side so I'd be well out of reach of anything tossed.
Once the married couple were off in their car, we made our way to our
own cars and returned to the hotel. There, we could finally get out
of our tuxedos and back into our regular clothing. We stayed the
night, then car pooled back to our family home the next day.
And normality was restored.
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