Thursday, October 3, 2013

It Wasn't My Father

15


My first father figure was my British Uncle 'Ronny'. Yes, my father lived in the same house as I, but much as my sister acted as my mother during my early years, Uncle Ronny was my first father figure. My second father figure was Joe Giacomo, the owner of the grocery store across the hayfield. My third father figure was my best friend's, Pete's, own father 'Zack Hatch'. And my fourth father figure really wasn't, he was just this guy that managed the Radio Shack down the street...
My family home was the childhood family home of the Giacomo family. The Giacomos came from Italy in the eighteen hundreds and earned their money making dry stone walls around this area of rural New England. New England, an Ice Age glacial flow area, is littered with roundish rocks, some big and most small. As the glaciers flowed, rocks beneath them were tumbled over again and again, breaking off any sharp edges and making them rounder, though not with smooth surfaces like river rocks. The big ones make impressive sights as God sized pebbles dropped here and there in fields and woods. The small ones became mixed-in with the soil and made life a challenge for farmers trying to plow their fields. The immigrant Giacomos created a job for themselves and would collect these stones and stack them along boundary lines for land owners, making fields easier to use and support the 'good fences make good neighbors' theory.
With their money they purchased a large portion of land and made their first family home. The home I grew-up in was a kit house from the turn of the twentieth century built a few hundred feet from the original home on their large tract of land. With all the rocks already in stone walls, the second generation Giacomo family made a living by providing hay to the local homes for their horses and food from their farm at a small food stand along the nearby road. As more people changed from horses to cars for transport, more focus was placed on the food stand as it grew from an initially small shed to a small grocery store at a street corner just down the road.
This family had three children that I knew of. First son Marcus, who inherited the hay portion of the family business, Second son Joe who inherited the Grocery store, and Daughter 'Tina' who trained as a nurse and helped to lobby for a hospital to be built in our town. Marcus built his home at the far side of the hayfield, Joe had his home as an over head apartment built as part of the ever expanding grocery store, and Tina had her home at the far corner of the hayfield from the second generation house. When their father died, as they all had their own homes, they sold their father's house to my family who were seeking a larger place to live within a year of my birth.
As this house was part of the large tract of land owned by the immigrant family, it was built within, and surrounded by, the remaining Giacomo land. My family owned the acre of land surrounding the house and the medium length dirt road that lead from the main road to the house. But in reality we had access to everything else, the hayfield and the hundreds of acres of woods which made up the rest of the original Giacomo land. The only restriction we had was not to be in the hayfield when it had grown high enough that we couldn't be seen before it was cut for bailing. My guess is that was for safety purposes as they didn't want to accidentally cut us down with the hay cutter.
Uncle Ronny and Aunt 'Harriet' would visit us regularly during my childhood years and would even often join us for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Aunt Harriet would stay at the house and chat with my parents and Uncle Ronny would take me for a walk through the vast woods. I would later dub these 'nature walks' where we would meander and admire the sights while Uncle Ronny would talk to me about various things and he would also ask me about my life and listen to my chatter with interest. As a result of this attention, I would look forward to his visits and this became a routine. During the winter month visits, we'd just stay inside and visit but then I'd have to share Uncle Ronny with my siblings and father. Everyone loved Uncle Ronny... Aunt Harriet wasn't as popular. Though I never personally experienced it, the scuttlebutt was she talked endlessly and gave unwanted advice.
As my parents grew apart in my later single digit years and finally split by my preteens, Joe Giacomo became my next father figure. As my mother worked at the local grocery store, I would tag along on some days and watch the store at work and see Joe. When the business had grown so successful that it put the local I.G.A. out of business, Joe used the money as the only grocery store to buy-out another I.G.A. twenty miles away and open his first branch store. When this happened, my mother transferred there and had a larger role at the store, eventually working her way up to manager. In reality, my mother and Joe had been having an affair for several years and the new location took them away from questioning eyes. But I was unaware of this at the time and only knew Joe as a friend of my mother.
One Saturday I was bored hanging out at the branch store while my mother worked. I noticed the milk case was getting low and went to the milk cooler to get more milk cartons to fill it up as I had seen my mother do earlier that morning. As with the hayfield a few years earlier, I had assigned myself my own job. My mother encouraged this as it made her work less harried and even pointed out my stewardship of the shelves to Joe. Tickled, Joe rewarded me with money for my work. A novel concept for me as I was already willing to do the work to avoid boredom, but I wasn't about to turn the cash away.
This lead to my mentorship in the grocery industry by Joe. I learned about rotating stock so the oldest always sold first before it spoiled or got stale. I learned about meat and produce trimming, packaging, and morning review of the cold cases for outdated stock. I learned about ordering and the need to anticipate additional supplies for common, fast-selling items as well as those that sold more during various holidays. I learned about cashiering and how to count money and make sure the books balanced, though most of the time at the register I would just bag groceries and carry-out. And I learned about store maintenance needs, such as routinely sharpening knives for meat and produce, the need for cooling compressors to chill cases out front and refrigerate rooms in back, the occasional floor tile and shelf cleaning & repair. A few times Joe even took me on runs to buy parts and one time review a loader to be purchased.
Zack Hatch, my best friend's father, turned out to be the head of the math department at the High School. Against the will of my Middle School I had signed-up for 'Intro To Algebra' for my Freshman year of High School and by coincidence Zack was the teacher. While he had been warned that the class would be over my head by other staff and he would need to shepherd me to a basic math class within the first quarter, he found the opposite to be true. During my first three years of High School he quietly became my champion, defending me from the educational hierarchy who felt I had a 'place' and needed to be 'put in it'. More on my time with him later.
Then there was Ralph. When my mother moved from New England to Colorado, I would visit her during the Summers. And while she worked during the days, I would hang out at the local Radio Shack managed by Ralph. He let me use the display computers as he felt having a kid use them as customers came in made them appear less intimidating to the adults. Other than letting me use the computers and occasionally humor me when I wanted to show-off a program I had written, he really didn't have much of a role in my life. Still, when he moved to other Radio Shack locations in later years, I would hunt him down and say 'Hi' the following Summers!
And my actually father? He still just lived in the house, mostly, and was best when he was ignoring me...





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